I Want You to Meet Davie

Hey guys!

I was just chilling in my greenhouse, looking at my plants, when my new kitten Davie (Short for David Meowthews Band) came up and rubbed her head on my leg. It is really special for her to do this as it took a while for her to even leave a corner she had hid in when we first brought her home.

My first picture of Davie (ignore the laundry like I obviously did)

I don’t know what Davie had been through since she came to me in a strange way. A friend of mine had a person she allowed to sublet at her place for free abandon the cat at the house without food, water, or a place to go potty. Apparently Davie was a birthday gift that her mom gave her. Her mom had taken her from around her work, claiming she was a stray. We did check if she was chipped and posted on various pages that we had found her, but nobody claimed her. We later learned that people were doing drugs in the house while she was there, so who knows what all this cat has seen or been through. But she’s happy here.

Davie and Albert after some birds

Now that Davie has gotten used to her new family, she loves to cuddle with her kitty brothers, play with her toys, and take naps after filling her belly with cat food I make from scratch. (Yes, I’ve done my research and they are getting everything they need). While her early life was probably really rough, she is safe with and I couldn’t imagine not having this sweet baby in my life.

Nothing too Satanic to talk about here, I just really like my cat.



I Want to Talk About Self Worth

Hey guys, how’s it going, ya girl here, and, I gotta say, I’ve learned more about self worth in the last week than I have in my entire life. I have had a pretty tough year and have been unable to find a steady job for most of it, which is infuriating as I have devoted the majority of each day to making myself employable. Those who follow this blog know that I am not one to back down from hard work, even if it means learning a new language in order to make sure an opera is able to run with minimal errors.

Well, a few days ago, I finally got a good job within my field of study, after my father asking me every week “why don’t you use your degree?” as if I took my certificate and used it for toilet paper. What happens after that? My family member asked me if I hadn’t gotten a job because I was addicted to drugs. Honestly, folks, I have never felt more shame in my life. I had been working so hard to support myself and never ask for help, only to be told that it looked like I was an addict. What is a Satanist to do? One who strives for nothing more than being their best self?

Ignore them. Succeed on your own. Even after those who said they were there for you and were proud of you have decided to wait and watch you fail without lending a hand until they thought you were at rock bottom. Nobody except you knows how hard you’re working because nobody is paying 100% attention to you. And you know what? That’s okay. Nobody owes you their full attention because they, too, are trying to reach their full potential.

To spite the people who think I am failing, I am going to thrive without them and then move on.

I hope to post more now that I’ve gotten a job and will have more time to dedicate to this blog. Well see, though, since this is just me yelling into the void most of the time.

I appreciate each and all of you Darling Devil’s




It’s the New Year!

New Year, new round of posts. Due to some unfortunate computer problems, I was unable to do as much as I wanted during the Christmas season, but that’s okay because I have a really great interview for you, as well as more questions going out soon, so keep an eye open. I would also like to say thank you to anybody who put me in the running for Wicked Witch of the Year, I am so honored.

So, onto the interview. I would like to start off by reminding people that not everybody I interview has Satanic values, is a Satanist, or shares my personal values. I started doing these interviews to appreciate those Satanists around us AND to better understand those different than us.

I would also preface this interview by saying that the person doesn’t speak English fluently, just an FYI. I am also not going to name them here, if they want to share the interview on their personal accounts, I’m fine with that.

Now, give a warm welcome to the person behind an account that started because a Twitter troll wanted to call Satanic women sluts (like, not in the fun way), in this instillation of:

end of MY rope


1) What is your relationship with the Church of Satan? 

I consider myself free. I have my onw opinion on everything.
I don’t believe politicians and religious. They think their ideas are better than anyone else. But they don’t follow their own rules, because it’s impossible.
Gods, spirits etc were invented by people during prehistoric times. They couldn’t explain what causes day and night, what causes seasons, why rain, storm and thunder exist.
They created stories: mythology.
The world has changed, everything has changed. Religion is mythology 2.0. Kids believe in santa but the brain and thinking ability change with age: they understand that’s impossible.
In catholic schools, they learn fantastic things. Their stories are similar to Game Of Thrones or Hercules The Legendary Journeys. Many people are formatted.
Religious people themselves don’t follow their own rules: they judge, they make wars, they don’t care about others, they are scared of difference etc
I discovered the Church of Satan on the internet. I asked myself why people follow Satan. I have read the website and it was very interesting.
This is an official religion. They are free thinkers. They believe in themselves. They are against satanist theists. They use Satan as a symbol of rebellion against religious rules.
Then, I followed them on social networks and discovered many inspirational people. I’ve talked with some of them, I like to know why they are Satanists, their stories are amazing.
I don’t know if I can call myself a Satanist because I’m not an official member, but I respect the Eleven Satanic Rules. They are a part of my personality.
2) Describe the page you run on Twitter. 
I created @Satans_Girls when a random guy/girl attacked Satanists on Twitter. He/she used words like “unholy”, “pervert”, “possessed”. That makes no sense.
He/she doesn’t know these people and their personality.
I want to promote these harassed people because they inspire a lot of person. I post some quotes and I make artworks for free.
In fact, I consider religion as a problem and Satanism/Atheism as a solution.
Those people deserve more followers than the Pope.
3) What is the best Halloween costume you’ve ever worn and why?
The best Halloween costume I’ve worn when I was 18 and I went as the Grim Reaper.
The reaper is immortal and decides who lives and dies. I would like to get this power for what is right.
Probably my favourite mythical creature before the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
4) What do you like to do for your birthday? 
For my birthday I enjoy having my family and my friends at the same time. It’s like Christmas and the New Year Eve on the same day.
5) Do you have any pets? If so, how do you like to spoil them? If not, do you have a dream pet?
Thanks to my mother I am an animal lover. When I was a child we had a big house, a goat, rabbits, two geese, two dogs and many cats.
Losing an animal is very, very difficult.
That’s why I don’t have pets today, I don’t support the end..
6) What inspires you? 
People who enjoy life, people who do what they like, brave people, people who help others.
People with those qualities are our best hope for a better world.
7) Are you currently working on anything interesting either professionally or creatively? 
I’m working for a software company. I teach people to use a computer and internet, I give conference tips and presentations about internet and cybersecurity, I make photos and videos. I really like my job.
I also like magic, card handling, illusions and I would like to be a professional magician, having my own show with a lot of resources must be fun!
8) What TV show has captured your attention recently? 
I discovered La Casa de Papel, Breaking Bad and Mentalist a few months ago. Story, actors, everything is great!
Mentalist has a special place, some friends called me Patrick Jane during many years cause I have a similar personality, I like watching people, I try to understand everyone and I use NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) to speak with them.
I had never watched this show until this summer.
9) Do you have any tattoos? 
I don’t have any tattoos, this is a hard decision and I don’t want to regret it later.
But I really like to watch tattooed people. Some tattoos are better than painting in museums.
A body can become a work of art.
10) Describe your ideal vacation. 
My ideal vacation is Japan. Mix of both traditional and modernity, discipline, japanese mentality, few crimes, big cities, food, temples.
I would love to live in Tokyo, this is my dream.
Screen Shot 2018-06-02 at 3.37.32 PM
Thanks for hanging out, you Darling Devils. I’ll see you soon!

The Seven Sins of Christmas (Greed)

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, some knock-off apple air pods. But why didn’t he get the real ones?

Yeah, people like to say that Christmas is about Jesus or whatever other Holiday. Others say it’s about family, which it is! But we can’t deny that there is a little monster inside of every one of us that loves to get gifts. We all want things and the idea that somebody might get you something you don’t want to buy yourself is an amazing idea.

two woman hugging each other

Also, quiet down back there Karen, we all know that when you say “I prefer to GIVE gifts!” you actually mean “I hunger for praise and thanks!”, so don’t act like you’re not also a greedy bastard.

I don’t mean to hate on Christmas, I love Christmas. I also really love getting and giving gifts, it’s a big part of the holiday. That doesn’t mean that we can’t also nod and say, Yes, I do want things. There’s nothing wrong with greed as long as it doesn’t control you.

The entire Holiday Season is about eating huge amounts of food! We shovel Thanksgiving Turkey and Christmas Ham into our faces, finishing it off with mashed potatoes and other heavy, fatty foods. It’s amazing.

cake on table

Even here! I said in my last post that I was gonna see you tomorrow but then I didn’t. Why? Greedy with my time. I have stuff to do, it’s halfway to Christmas! So, meet me back here next week when I cover the next Sin of the Season!

I’ll see you later, my Darling Devils!



It’s Time to Talk about the Real Meaning of Christmas

It’s December and that means the Christmas decorations are up in my household! I’ve got snowflakes hanging fro the ceiling and taped to the windows, lights are up, and a tree will be coming into the house shortly.

macro shot photography of christmas stockings ornament on a christmas tree

Christmas is on of my favorite holidays all year for a few reasons. For one thing, it’s basically Thanksgiving 2.0 at my family’s various parties because we all make the same dishes. What’s great is that the family is so large, we end up having a party for half the family on Christmas Eve, a smaller party Christmas Day with the closer family, and then a final party that night with other half of the family. Each of these parties has the traditional foods and rituals we all follow year after year. They’ve evolved slightly, but have largely remained the same.

shallow focus photography of green christmas tree

Now, I know that some Satanists take pains to go against anything that may have been even lightly brushed with the taint of one of the Ahberhamic religions, and that’s fine, they have the right to do that, I just don’t think it’s all that big of a deal if a Satanist says “bless you” or puts a star tree topper up. You wanna know why? Because Christmas isn’t about Jesus anymore. You wanna know what it does celebrate? Say it with me, The Seven Deadly Sins!

adorable animal breed canine
Not my dog, sadly

I know I only recently did a whole look into the sins, but there’s something about Christmas that just gets me all excited for them again! So, I will be looking into each one of the individually and how they pertain to Christmas, that way we can get over ourselves and jump into the holiday! Don’t worry this won’t all be negative because, as I said earlier, I love Christmas. Used to hate it, now I’ve fallen back in love.

I hope everyone out there is safe and sound this holiday season. If any of my readers traditionally don’t do Christmas, then happy that. I don’t know. I’m a white woman from rural Washington, chill.

Have a great day and I’ll see you tomorrow for our first Sin!




It’s Thanksgiving

Good evening, my Darling Devils

I hope everybody is as stuffed to the brim(stone) as I am on this wonderful holiday! For those of you who don’t know or don’t care, today is Thanksgiving in the US and I am loving it! I’m not even going to touch all the historical and racial implications of the holiday and just talk about the most Satanic part: The food.

person picking food on tray

We all know that Satanism promotes sinning and gluttony, as long as it doesn’t consume you, which makes Thanksgiving one of my favorites! I get to revel in some of my favorite foods, my family shoving their faces beside me. Everyone is happy when they’re full of turkey and mashed potatoes!

When we get together for Thanksgiving, my family has a basic “schedule” they keep each year. We start with normal dinner, then second dinner, dessert, games, more time for eating here, and then games and drinks and chatting for the rest of the night. We take the food and family part of the holiday pretty seriously. Sadly, I wasn’t able to stay past first dinner as I’m pretty sick at the moment.

Also I’m fine with Football being part of Thanksgiving and if you bitch that it’s on while not in your own home, you can’t have any of my Crust Crisps. Go Hawks!

athletes audience ball bleachers

I’m going to go drink some tea and have some leftovers, but before I go, I wanted to quickly announce that I will be starting to take nominations for the I’m A Satanist and I’m a Satanic Slut Award starting now. The idea was given to me by a Twitter troll who wanted to make me feel bad, so I’m turning it around and making something positive out of it. (Take that!) Email me the names of up to three people who you wish to nominate, why you feel they deserve the “Award” (which is really just an interview and bragging rights), as well as a bit about you. The nominees MUST be member of the Church of Satan and be able to prove it.

Have a great night, lovelies!

Hail Thanksgiving!



We All Have Our Own Step One

Satanism is a religion of bettering ones self and improving the situation in which we find ourselves. That is sometimes on a very personal level, other times it’s global. No matter what, it’s up to you.

man wearing backpack going upstairs

If you were to ask me where I plan on being in whatever amount of years, I might paint a picture of a small house with a job that allows me enough time for hobbies and reaching other personal goals. Asking another Satanist the same question may result in a picture of a second private jet or finally being able to afford to get a tattoo.

The one thing that each of these people has in common is that they are starting up the staircase to achieving a life they’re happy with. That’s what really matters when you look around and take in your life. Are you happy with it? How can I make it better?


If you’re reading this, you may already be a Satanist and are probably saying “Lauren, I know all of this already”. Well good for you, are you actively engaging in the idea? or maybe “Lauren, you haven’t posted in forever, how dare you?” to which I say, I was busy with other projects.

Does that mean I am happy with where I am right now? No, there’s things I want. I am going to take steps upwards towards these dreams until I am finally exactly where I want to be. Remember, Satan is a fictional, external representation of ones best self, free from Abrahamic Religions.

It’s good to speak to you, my Darling Devils.



I Love My Garden

Hey, guys, it’s been a while, but that’s because this post had to grow a little before I could show you. Also, I’ve had to go to some weddings and work stuff. Ya know, life?

Well, let’s get on with it so I can show off my garden!

Humble Beginnings

I know, it doesn’t look like much here but that’s because it’s the first picture I took after getting all the seeds and some of the starts planted. I decided to do this because I can’t seem to keep plants alive and I wanted to challenge myself to gain a skill. Some of the plants took really well while others are still really tiny. The little tomatoes in the background there are now huge and making fruit!

One of my Black from Tula fruits

This was also really good for my food because I now have a ton of fresh herbs including basic, lemon thyme, rosemary, chocolate mint, and more. There’s five kinds of tomatoes, three types of peppers, and a myriad of flowers that bees are attracted to because bees are important to a healthy garden and also, oh, the Earth.

That’s Horseradish in the back

What I didn’t expect was what gardening would do for my mental health. It feels good to get up and tend to your plants. There’s an amazing sense of pride I get when I tell people that we are eating food that I’ve grown! I am attached to these little guys like they’re my cats and wow do they need a lot of care. I mean, they’re on a porch, so it isn’t ideal, which means I have to work extra hard to make sure they have everything they need. I’ve made many trips to the store for various bug or mildew related issues. Seeing them grow and flower has been more rewarding than I could ever imagine.


I hope you all are having a good day and I’ll show you what I make with my plants here soon.





Misery is Bliss

The lights dim and smoke rolls through the room as a ghost-like bride leads a grim groom to the stage as she swings a puffing thurible. They sit, a ghostly light casting sharp shadows upon their faces. The show begins.

The Main Events

This is the beginning of the end that is The Wedding Funeral, a show that is touring across The United States and leaving misery (read as joy) in its wake. Seriously, this show made me smile, gave me chills, and, at one point, made my eyes water. I was amazed.

The theatrics enhanced the music and the music seamlessly meshed with the design. Darren’s mastery of the guitar matched with Ethel’s haunting saws creates an atmosphere that, alone, would tickle the senses. Then starts the lyrics I am completely entranced with the music that is meeting my ears. I had never heard anything like it.

Cutest Couple in the World award winners 2019

The Wedding Funeral made me feel as though I was in a Broadway production, a Ritual Chamber, and a Rock Concert all at the same time and I cannot recommend it enough. If it’s coming within 100 miles of you, I expect you to go and let me know what you think.

Thank you, Darren and Ethel, for bringing this beautiful music to the world. Hail you both!




The Floor is LAVA

abstract active ash color

You remember that game some kids would play where you’d have to get somewhere or something without touching the floor? When’s the last time you played that game? Or any other game from your childhood?

At some point during our lives, we decided that games of imagination were below us somehow and decided to stop playing them. We’re told to grow up and act our age.

Well, I’m here to tell you that’s bullshit and the floor is lava. I was out with my friends last night and we ended the night at the bar that my Boyfriend’s sister owns. It was just five of us in there, all scattered around the bar, so, without thinking, I yelled “THE FLOOR IS LAVA”.

Guys, I wish you could have seen the looks of confusion and excitement that painted the faces of the companions. We shouted at each other when they were in “danger” and came up with ways to work together and get people to the safe point. It was an amazing time and when it was over, we all felt like we had just been transported back to age 12 and our moms were about to come tell us it was time to go. But we’re all in our mid-twenties to thirties, so we took a shot and played air hockey instead.

Am I saying go out there and be a dick or whine at people? NO! All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t let your childhood go.